WEEKEND SPECIAL: The Best And Worst Movies I Won't Review Here

And An Important Word On January 6th

I’ve been reading a lot about how January 6th is a legit talking point in politics, and how you have one political party actively embracing the day as some sort of celebration of democracy, or freedom, or values totally unrelated to those of presidential candidate Donald Trump. It seems very much as if, after the event (which I watched from my cellblock live on cable news), everyone in politics dutifully decried the day, only later for many to remove their masks (or put them on?) to show how they found concern over that day trivial. All for the expressed purpose of hoping it happens again.

I started this substack for many reasons, but what finally got me to hit “publish” was because America, it seemed, was asking themselves, what is a crime, and who is a criminal? And it is clear for an entire political party, disrupting a government function to engage in the transition of leadership of the executive branch with violence and vandalism is not a crime. Assaulting cops because your guy lost an election is permissible to some, apparently.

We have a presidential candidate that has forced some to take a hostile view of the justice system we have in place. I want to applaud this, I suppose, vibe shift, I want it to feel exciting. But it doesn’t feel genuine. It’s a lot like how mainstream politicians who lambasted the events of January 6th turned around to give a full-throated endorsement of such behavior. Because there remains a whole lot of people in prison for faulty laws, for enhanced prosecutions, harmful mandatory minimums enforced by overzealous and unchecked prosecutors. 

I could only shake my head as moronic politician after moronic politician used the various cases of Donald Trump to posit that there was a “two-tiered” justice system, one to enforce laws and one to go after the innocent and marginalized. In this case the innocent and marginalized person was a former reality TV host who first successfully argued that he should be tried once he’s done running for President and then somehow successfully petitioned the Supreme Court to give him full immunity for actions committed during a four year period after an election in which he lost the popular vote. I was shocked that the “two-tiered” comments were going unchallenged, as if the legal system had been functioning so smoothly until finally ensnaring innocent Mr. Trump in runaway prosecutions. This was, and is, something grown men and women continue to say.

But I’d like to say this about the men and women convicted for their actions on January 6th: I believe in restorative justice instead of incarceration. I believe this for everyone incarcerated, for fifteen minutes or sixty years. I don’t feel that way out of pity. The J6ers are foolish enough to fall for the machinations of a lifelong con man, and a not-very-good-one at that. If it were solely up to me, and I ran the justice system with zero repercussions, I would shoot them off to Mars. Elon Musk can build a colony for them, I’m sure he’d volunteer. It’s not a great idea for me to run the justice system.

But there are repercussions to criminal prosecution that our society must bear. And I don’t think people understand what they are. Because let’s say the criminal justice system is serious about the punishment of the January 6th participants, handing out sentences for five years, seven years, a year and a half plus probation, that sort of thing. To the general public, they’re being sent away, never to be seen again, swept under the rug as the country pretends to wrestle with the events of that day.

In fact, they’re going to institutions where they will be fed and cared for over several years. They will settle in to being in a “car” that pampers and celebrates them (probably one with white supremacist vibes – there’s a story about this here, a compelling longread for your weekend). The guards will likely be simpatico as well. And they’ll have access to televisions where right wing cable news personalities fete them every day. You KNOW these are guys who will have money on their commissary account. They will emerge from prison vindicated, as heroes (kind of like Paul Manafort, who watched his own episode of “American Greed” among the rest of us, a genuine hero’s celebration) . Prison is difficult for every man. But it’s far less difficult for certain people. If we’re talking about prisons as “correctional centers”, what exactly is being corrected here? You have people that assaulted police officers, and a man is running for president on the promise he will free them from prison. This situation emboldens dangerous behavior. And that’s before the idea that these people are now viewed as soldiers for the cause.

This is prison as a postponement of future crimes. Stand back and stand by.

I thank y’all for joining me on this excellent adventure, and I hope readers enjoy the coming weeks (if anyone would like a preview, all of October will be horror films). I thought I’d prepare a list of some of the movies I saw when I was down, making them ineligible for an appearance on the Substack. So these are the best, and the worst, movies I saw from late 2014 to early 2023 while incarcerated (or in the halfway house), which I will not be reviewing here, because incarceration provided a different perspective than the one I have now. Obviously, due to a lack of availability of some movies while in prison, this list is not sponsored by Cahiers du Cinema. 

The 50 BEST (apologies for my struggles with Substack formatting)

(QUICK NOTE: Upon further evaluation, add these three titles to the top ten:

“The 24th”

“Bushwick”

“Summer Of Soul”)

HONORABLE MENTION: War For The Planet Of The Apes, Hustlers, Thor Ragnarok, Halloween (2018), Gretel And Hansel

50. The Peanut Butter Falcon

49. Us

48. Hot Tub Time Machine 2

47. Creed II

46. First Man

    

45. Dark Waters

44. Captive State

43. Bill And Ted Face The Music

42. The Photograph

41. Logan

40. Straight Outta Compton

39. Mr. Holmes

38. Tomorrowland

37. Interstellar

36. Nope

35. Queen And Slim

    

34. John Wick 1, 2, 3

33. Chappie

32. Little Women

31. The Current War

30. Minari

    29. Black Panther

    28. The Shape Of Water

    

27. Ex Machina

26. Hell Or High Water

25. The Farewell

24. Creed

23. Widows

22. Sicario

21. Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse

20. Detroit

19. Bridge Of Spies

18. Gone Girl

17. Mission: Impossible – Fallout

    

16. Selma

15. Once Upon A Time In Hollywood 

14. The Babadook

13. Arrival

12. Blackkklansman

11. Phantom Thread

    

10. Get Out

9. Blackhat

8. The Lost City Of Z

7. Annihilation

   

6. Good Time

5. Tàr

4. Moonlight

3. Two Days, One Night

2. Mad Max: Fury Road

1. O.J. Made In America

THE 25 WORST

25. Ghostbusters: Afterlife

24. Transformers: The Last Knight

23. God’s Not Dead 2

22. The Lazarus Effect

21. The Wedding Ringer

    

20. Skyscraper

19. The Little Things

18. Bright

17. The Post

16. San Andreas

15. Antebellum

14. Miss Bala

13. Dear Evan Hansen

12. Pixels

11. Get Hard

    

10. Fantastic Four (2015)

9. Death Wish (2018)

8. Shaft (2019)

7. Second Act

6. Gemini Man

5. Baywatch

4. Collateral Beauty

3. Welcome To Marwen

   

2. War Room

1. Suicide Squad

Now, enjoy a little weekend viewing. Cowabunga, ladies and gentlemen.