Wrong Cops

And Sir Inmate, What Was In That Joint?

I am delighted to have rejoined the world of Quentin Dupuiex. This is a director who makes gratuitously ridiculous, often stupid movies that transcend bad taste. He came up as something of a “genre” filmmaker – maybe you recall his playful debut film “Rubber”, which starred the late Wings Hauser and a pyrokinetic tire. And now he gets opening slots at film festivals despite altering the tone of his work very little. I cannot believe the hoity-toity types are honoring this guy, and I love it.

“Wrong Cops”, which had a pretty confusing release back in 2014 (I think?), is more in line with the grossout period of his filmmaking. It’s an ensemble piece, theoretically depicting a day in the life of a couple of law enforcement officers in Los Angeles. Of course, the interests of these cops are completely ridiculous – not based in either law enforcement nor even typical vice. One such cop (Mark Burnham) deals drugs. But his main indulgence seems to be a self-amused quest to rid himself of the corpse (or half-dead body) of a guy he’s shot during the course of a very distracted day. It’s not exactly a race against time.

Much of the day is spent circling and then harassing a weirdo in the park, that being Marilyn Manson. There are a ton of odd names in here, including the legendary character actor Ray Wise and the cartoon-faced “MadTV” vet Arden Myrin (they seriously had some talented performers trapped under miles of bad material on that show). Eric Wareheim of Tim And Eric shows up as a pervert cop with a trigger finger. There are appearances from the likes of Eric Roberts and Grace Zabriskie, cementing the movie’s absurdity bonafides.

There’s no narrative backbone – this is a hang-out movie for stoners, but those who appreciate smoking the more obscure and potentially dangerous strands. A considerable amount of screentime is spent following a plainclothes cop (Steven Little) who finds himself the target of prying eyes. Through an elaborate set of sequences, his fellow cops have learned that he’s got a past as a nude model for gay pornography magazines. This is the closest the movie gets to recognizable slapstick, and Little is funny enough. But this movie, for better or for worse, is too set on it’s own shambling template to have any interest in conventional pleasures.

The funniest and most sincere section involves Officer Rough, played by Eric Judor. While everyone is having some wacky adventure, the inexplicably French Officer Rough is chasing his dream of becoming a superstar techno artist. While his colleagues mock him and his stylish eyepatch, he instead gets himself a meeting with a major record producer (Kurt Fuller). I’m guessing the actual beats are courtesy of Dupiuex, who also records under the name Mr. Oizo, and who scored this particular movie. This movie probably isn’t for 98% of people, but hearing some Mr. Oizo bangers really makes some of this goofiness go down.

I’ll be clear in that “Wrong Cops” has no attachment to a reality of any kind – I did not recognize these cops as real people, and I did not see this as a real world (is it really Los Angeles?). There is a bit where the one officer who is dealing drugs squeezes plastic baggies inside of rat corpses – I think there’s a gag in there, but maybe the gag is that it’s not in there? Whatever the case, drugs in prison are gross, guys. Stay away. It more than likely got to you through the orifice of another man, deep enough that a cavity search in the visiting room couldn’t find it. Stop and think about that. That’s James Cameron deep.

Men would roll joints at an earlier institution where I was, smoke in the bathroom. You could smell it from pretty far away – officers tolerated it until they didn’t. Some guys were so desperate that they couldn’t wait for a new supply. During one evening, I learned that one joint being smoked was made up of only bird droppings. Show me a man who smokes bird droppings, and I’ll show you someone who needs major treatment. Instead, of course, like the rest of the country, the B.O.P. has become more primal in their treatment of drug conditions, employing a one-size-fits-all approach. Because treatment would help end recidivism, and this is a system that exists and thrives because of recidivism. Don’t get it twisted. Incarceration is a business.