Yes, those "Expendables" movies are lousy. They don't get better as basic cable favorites . It’s the dirty secret of cable programming: action and big stars take precedence over anything else. I'm still stinging about how FX forcefed my starving prison audience repeated showings of the Vin Diesel flop "Bloodshot" but the $218 million-grossing (yes really!) "Little Women" was relegated to early daytime and late night slots. This is what they mean by "programmer" - you'd never claim a really great movie is a programmer, because a programmer is just something you throw on screen that people can ignore.
"Triple Threat" is a programmer in the "Expendables" vein. Since that action hero franchise began in 2008, the four films in that sorry series managed to make it a virtue to boast an impressive call sheet. Other b-action movies followed suit, in defiance of the industry mandate for shaky cam and CGI in place of real action stars. But few boast an ensemble quite like "Triple Threat", one that immediately caught my attention from only one tiny review capsule years ago in the NY Times.
Yes, this movie begins and ends with that amazing call sheet. The triple threat of the title comes from fight film legends Tony Jaa, Iko Uwais and… well, Tiger Chen isn't really a titan on par with the other two, but as Keanu Reeves' directorial effort "Man Of Tai Chi" showed, he's a formidable screen presence.
In one sense, I'm bummed that during the years of my incarceration, there was no real effort to make stars out of Jaa and Uwais. Jaa, I knew, had a complex background and narrative precluding him from participating in Hollywood, though he did score standout appearances in "Furious 7" (where they do a respectable job of making it look like Paul Walker could go toe to toe with him, which, nope) and "XXX: Return Of Xander Cage" (sharing the screen with the great Donnie Yen). I do wish he finished that Dolph Lundgren western he was working on when I was out, though that appears to be lost to the sands of time. Uwais did villain work in the underwhelming "Mile 22" and the milquetoast "Stuber" but, similarly, his potential was left unexplored by the major studios. Of course, a lot of that has to do with the major studios not bothering in any way to develop any new action stars, or even movie stars proper.
I wish the people making those decisions checked out how prison crowds appreciated Uwais in "The Raid 2". We would bootleg movies at my first prison location, downloading them onto a phone, then jacking the TV's to play the device. The fare was usually R rated, because federal prison has rules regarding R rated efforts, due to the disastrous Zimmer Amendment. So every night, we greeted either "restricted" fare, as per the MPAA, or some sort of explicit cable series.
Related: the best show for inmates to bootleg? "Banshee", late of Cinemax. Sex and violence in every episode, crime and brawls and a ridiculous premise based on the protagonist having just gotten out of prison. I digress.
Anyway, no one really knew what the selection process was for what films we'd watch. But after (and often during) dinner, the TV room would fill up. We avoided scrutiny whenever the guards would do their hourly patrol, walking slowly while dangling their loud keys by their side. Sort of an unspoken agreement with the cops - if you're doing something you're not supposed to, and you can't put it away by the time you heard the keys, you're going to get in trouble. The most nefarious guards would hold their keys tight to their legs as they walked.
We couldn't properly enjoy the films because we would always be concerned that someone would pass from the hallway. So I suppose I watched all these movies with one eye. And when we interrupted a “Doctor Strange” bootleg upon the sound of keys (on the night of “Doctor Strange”’s opening), the cops would have no choice but to play dumb that the TV room was packed for what looked like a random reality show.
This was at the bigger institution that I attended, formerly air force barracks and fairly close to society. The following placement, far in the boonies, was a repurposed seminary, and thus a place where it was near impossible to smuggle contraband. The further away from a town or city, the less likely you'll be able to get stuff smuggled in, something that largely rests on the interactions between guards and the families of the incarcerated.
One night, someone downloaded “The Raid 2”, that wonderful orgy of bone breaking bloodshed. I had already seen it on the outside, so I took the opportunity to watch how everyone else reacted (carefully, of course - in prison obviously a look can become so much more so quickly). And initially the reactions were strong - guys hooting and roaring and cheering loudly. But then a sense of exhaustion set in. I could tell the reaction was unusual for some guys. I still recall one dude who sighed, “there's just too much… action.”
Well, I signed up for “Triple Threat” gunning for Too Much Action. And instead, it was maybe Just Enough? Which isn't a real match for my expectations. Because Jaa, Uwais and Chen are not all this movie has to offer. These three are a small army on their own, and you need to combat that firepower with a true show of force. Scott Adkins and Michael Jai White? That fits the definition of a True Show Of Force. Kudos to whomever made that happen, and who also left room for MMA fighter, Michael Bisping, Celina Jade (“Wolf Warrior 2”) and the great Jeeja Yanin (“Chocolate”).
So what's the plot of this thing? Gosh, who really cares? Stuff like this is pretty predictable - you know that the headliners will fight among each other, team up, and eventually pool resources against the Adkins/Jai White chimera. Everything else is just flab. Though the three leads get to flex their comic muscles in scenes with each other even though that part is almost entirely in English, the first language of none of them. It’s as tough against the ears as you’d expect.
Which begs the question of whether you can make an A-level movie with this sort of cast. Director Jesse V. Johnson is an experienced action filmmaker, and he's smart enough to maximize strength and limit weaknesses. You're not going to get a bold new vision from him, a radical new way of shooting action. But the guy and his cast aren't gonna embarrass themselves.
Still, what if you have this cast to someone with real filmmaking chops, someone who placed story and fisticuffs on an even level? Imagine if you had a smart movie like “Redbelt” with a cast of people like this? The flip side is also true - what if those increasingly boring Marvel films had someone like Johnson behind the camera? What if this cast and crew tackled an “Avengers” movie?
Oddly enough, this connects with me. Johnson and his collaborators are marginalized because of what studios consider a disreputable association. Similarly, it remains a stigma ex-cons have to face, the idea that they have to hold down jobs in spite of society's disrespect towards them, people who either have degrees or skill sets that can benefit society. I'm certain Johnson has it easier. But “Triple Threat” has a functional plotline and a skimpy budget. What if you gave these guys the resources available on the $80 million studio film “Town And Country”, an infamous flop where an elderly Warren Beatty tries to get laid? What if? What if.