The Irishman

And Outdoor Rec, And Also Who Gets To Be Innocent

I heard a lot about Martin Scorsese trash talking Marvel movies during my prison stay. But what is “The Irishman” if not a Scorsese’s Avengers movie? Everybody you loved from Scorsese’s past is here. DeNiro, Pesci, Keitel. Ray Liotta’s absence is notable, but you have Bobby Cannavale and Jack Huston from “Boardwalk Empire”, Ray Romano from “Vinyl” and, hell, there’s Al freakin’ Pacino. This is “Goodfellas: Endgame”. All that’s missing are the “Defenders” from the Netflix era!

There was a copy of a woman’s magazine in prison (of course dudes subscribe to womens’ magazines in prison) with an article about “The Irishman”. Specifically it was in regards to the film’s much-discussed length, or the one section of the endless blank check Netflix gave the director of “Raging Bull” and also “New York, New York”. Referring to a couple of longer films from noted male American auteurs from the same time period, they suggested the term “cinematic manspreading”, pointing out that in most circumstances, women directors don’t need the gratuitous runtimes that men seem to treasure (to say nothing of the male desire to always plan everything as Part One in a series).

When it comes to “The Irishman”, I’m inclined to agree. This is an emotionally-messy movie about the wages of organized crime across a lifetime. For all of Scorsese’s movies about criminals, people seem to forget he’s typically landed hard on the consequences. Consider “The Irishman” a 200 minute postscript to all of them, with no one finding salvation through snitching, and not many of them finding solace in death. The “ravages of old age” hit harder when you’ve spent your whole life whacking people and protecting power.

I wouldn’t argue that this is a waste of time – anyone who enjoys criminal morality tales will get something out of this. But if you’ve seen a few gangster movies, this is really only a natural endpoint. Scorsese, the legendary cinematic manspreader, lets you spend a considerable amount of time with the film’s survivors at the end of this era-spanning tale as they waste away in wheelchairs, probably releasing their bowels as you see them watch their own memories flash against their eyeballs like a film roll pressed by Heaven. There is value in this cinematic approach, I wouldn’t argue otherwise. But I can’t think of a female filmmaker who would pull the same move.

Also, I have to afford a bit of extra scrutiny when a filmmaker is in this rare territory of blank checks. There are a lot of interesting actors who pop up here. The savviest choice is Stephen Graham, the British character actor who previously worked with Marty in “Gangs Of New York”. Here, Scorsese throws him into the deep end with Pacino (actually quite excellent) and the two of them get to have it out in a few memorable s___-talk scenes. If the movie actually played in theaters, they would have been classic moments.

But I kept having to wonder why, at the top of his profession and flush with Netflix money, Scorsese is working with certain people. Maybe a friendship with DeNiro led to deeply unfunny standup comedian Sebastian Maniscalco showing up here, since DeNiro played the father in Maniscalco’s starring vehicle “About My Father”. Maniscalco’s sudden success while I was in prison made me wonder exactly what was going on in the outside world – seeing him host the MTV VMA awards made me wonder if I woke up in an alternate reality where nobody is funny and everything sucks.

I had similar reservations about the appearance of Jake Hoffman, considering the “nepo baby” controversies of the last few years. Not to take anything away from Jake as an aspiring actor, but this was a small but crucial role that could have been filled by literally any available actor in the world. And Jake’s father Dustin hasn’t even worked with Marty before, so it’s not like he’s doing someone a favor.

And yes, I guess I am amused to see rapper Action Bronson and comedian Jim Norton, I can’t fault the inclusion of these guys. But Marty – why the hell are you still working with Bo Dietl? The real life detective had previous appearances in “Goodfellas” and “The Wolf Of Wall Street”.  Since then, Dietl used his resources on behalf of Fox News to run smear campaigns against the women accusing Roger Ailes and Bill O’Reilly of sexual assault. It was also revealed he was a p.i. on call for Harvey Weinstein, and we’re all supposed to assume was all above board. There’s no reason Scorsese couldn’t have passed this role to an actual actor or, better yet, any other human being on this planet. Marty, what are you doing? As it would be said in prison, watch your company.

Of course, at the close of this film, there are a few prison scenes. And of course, these scenes are legit – Scorsese is always going to do more research than, say, the people behind “Escape Plan” (although those particular guys in question actually didn’t do a very bad job!). There’s a scene of bocce ball and, yes, there are sports and outdoor recreation for the characters in federal prison. In my experiences, usually, you’ll have to give your ID card to gain access to heavier objects, but us criminals do run away with baseball bats and gloves! Just try not to go to prison during a pandemic – you won’t see a lot of outdoors.

A lot of times, there will be tournaments and matches. I’ve never seen tennis, but pickleball became a thing in my last institution. Basketball is of course the most popular, but you won’t find a lot of dudes who pass the ball. And stuff like bocce and horseshoes reign supreme for the older crew. Basically, yes, it is the best opportunity to stay in shape, so, hey, silver linings. Yes, it is prison, and yes it is soul-crushing. But there are games, if you must know.

A brief word on something I just noticed…

With the selection of Tim Walz to be Kamala Harris’ Vice President-to-be, the Republicans have moved quickly to attack his policies as a Minnesota Governor. One of these methods caught my eye. Apparently, the Trump campaign has specifically singled out Walz as being willing to allow convicted felons to vote. You’d think the Trump campaign would be completely behind Walz’s Restore The Vote, given that as President, Trump was responsible for the largest criminal justice reform in decades with the First Step Act. You’d also expect the approach to be lauded given that the Trump campaign is also elevating an actual convicted felon.

The pushback (and the chutzpah, really) doesn’t really require an explanation. But it is interesting how how criminal justice will be discussed during this election. On one side, you have a former prosecutor who speaks of progressive policies but nonetheless reflected that harmful, single-minded “hard-on-crime” philosophy that led to the dangerous swelling of America’s prison population at the dawn of the 20th century and the early 2000’s. On the other, you have a man who has faced dozens and dozens of indictments over the last few years, and who is running for office with many open cases yet to be taken to court, a position that would probably limit your ability to get a job flipping burgers.

It is yet another repudiation, of course, of the Trump campaign’s belief as to who is or is not a criminal. The insistence you are not a criminal, like childish toys, must be put away after being found guilty on 34 counts, and it’s fruitless to play dumb. This line of messaging, the anti-Walz stance, has more to do with dictating who or who is not a criminal. We needn’t forget, criminals are not in hiding in urban venues, they’re not always Blacks and Hispanics. They are everywhere, in every walk of life. If they are disadvantaged, they are seeking power and control. And if they are privileged, like a certain Presidential candidate, then it is about obtaining more power and protecting it. Criminality doesn’t depend on motive, it depends on action. We can be productive about this by remembering who is guilty but worthy to become a contributor to society again, as Walz’s policies do. What we can’t do is denigrate people and policies willing to help the guilty. Trump should heed this information: he might find himself on the other end of a policy like Walz’s.

Next, a week of high-octane action movies!