The Human Centipede Part III: Final Sequence

And Sheriff Joe Arpaio

I’m not making a joke, I’m not being glib, I’m not trying to provoke, when I say this: I spent a large chunk of my time in prison wondering how the “Human Centipede” trilogy ended.

Yes, yes, I know how stupid that sounds. And trust me, in retrospect it’s even dumber. This movie is terrible. But Tom Six seems like an interesting guy. I’m always interested in filmmakers trying to provoke, the key variable being whether or not they have the talent to do so. The first “Human Centipede” (“First Sequence”) had that memorably crisp, sterile visual look to it, accompanied by a delightfully gonzo performance by Dieter Laser, himself something of a nightmare reflection of angry Christopher Walken. The second film (“Full Sequence”) amusingly abandoned the sterility and was a deeply disgusting, scatological exploration of the concept through a meta lens, focusing on an idle-handed fan of that first picture. Six chose to make that film in black and white, possibly to avoid censors, possibly to avoid being arrested.

I suppose I was shocked to find out that the third entry was a prison film, a concept that, superficially, I don’t love! Had the Human Centipede come home? Would it attach itself to my fears and insecurities? Would I no longer have a morbid fascination with Six’s macabre interests, and instead be actually scared? And did I have the stomach for this concept any longer?

The movie brings back the series’ leading men, Laser and the second film’s Peter Lorre-eyed Laurence R. Harvey, now in new roles. For Laser, unfortunately, the magic hasn’t returned. The late German actor is tasked with a Southern accent he never quite nails as Warden Boss. Harvey, a bit more adept with the dialect, is his pudgy accountant and right-hand man, equipped with a prominent Hitler mustache. Harvey must have been thrilled to play this somewhat more respectable role this time around, considering what was asked of him in “Full Sequence”, albeit without a Hitler mustache.

Together, they lord over George H.W. Bush State Prison, where Boss repeatedly attempts to punish and demean the inmates, gradually breaking their spirits. The first half of the film is largely devoted to repeated punishment and degradation of the inmates, which include the likes of Robert LaSardo and the late Tiny Lister. It’s only maybe forty minutes in when the idea is finally broached, an idea quietly illustrated by the film’s first scene: why not replicate the “Human Centipede” movies and sew the inmates together, front to bottom? There’s even more back-and-forth, largely saved for Boss’ receptionist, played by adult film actress Bree Olson. Olsen doesn’t get to do much but disapprove of, and then sexually satisfy, Warden Boss. Even for someone who has performed in porn, this role is a bit demeaning.

There are, no doubt, cheap thrills to be found in this very concept, and somehow they never surface. The torture Boss inflicts on his inmates is shown in scenes that are poorly-blocked, featuring amateurish gore effects you wouldn’t expect from the makers of a trilogy devoted completely to gore. And after they decide to force the inmates into this most demeaning of positions, they still need to introduce Tom Six as himself to explain and oversee the concept overall. It’s peculiar how terrible Six is at directing himself as an actor; he gives a “stop looking to the camera, son”-level performance. You really only get to the actual centipede in the film’s final moments. Despite its considerable length, the effect is not nearly as grisly as what was seen in part two.

It’s bizarre how poorly this film fails. The first film leaned on the manic work of Laser, and the goofy scientific explanations as to how the centipede concept would work. The second film is just ongoing grisly gore, and it doesn’t fail to deliver on this promise. But even with Eric Roberts tiptoeing on set as a local Governor overseeing Boss’ methods, this movie lacks purpose for the bulk of its runtime. This is a perfectly-reasonable 72-minute bad movie, somehow stretched to 102. What’s largely to blame is the endless riffing by Laser, who mostly screams and flexes until spittle fires into the camera. Six gives him the sort of room to improvise you’d only give to Christopher Guest collaborators, and this never results in any insight into his character. So many scenes end with him yelling towards someone offscreen, loudly, vainly.

I still hold out hope Six has got a little talent not reflected in this third movie, which is somehow the least funny, the least scary, and the least gross of the trilogy. He completed another movie a few years ago called “The Onania Club”, which failed to find a distributor after festival showings pre-COVID. There’s a trailer for this one (NSFW), and it hints at a transgressive rubbernecker appeal, the natural conclusion to Six’s realization that his Human Centipede invention has somehow crossed over to the suburban parlance. The ship has probably sailed on “Onania” seeing release, but you’d have to believe if someone thought they could sell it, they would have produced the money. Six seemed to have something to say when “Sound Of Freedom” played to crowded theaters last year, suggesting a human trafficking angle only hinted at in the “Oniana” press material.

That being said, there’s a key political message within Six’s film. Warden Boss seems clearly modeled off Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Arpaio has led a full life, as a soldier, police officer, sheriff, warden and perennial candidate for Senator and Mayor. Remember that hilariously dubious Steven Seagal reality show where he was deputized and got to lead sting operations? That was under Arpaio’s watch. If you believe only the good die young, Joe Arpaio is 92, and here to confirm your fears.

Arpaio had a contentious reign in charge of Maricopa County jails, frequently torturing and abusing inmates, which became a badge of honor to him because this is America, where no one ever faces consequence for torture and some even get promoted. For years, he would limit inmate meals to two per day, and force prisoners to work outside for hours during Arizona summers (with temperatures routinely in the triple digits). He bragged to media outlets about forcing inmates to wear pink, feeling that this would emasculate and insult them – I thought about this when, in the movie, Warden Boss literally castrated inmates. While people accused him of abuse and misconduct, he was busy hunting for Barack Obama’s birth certificate. He’s that kind of guy.

Arpaio frequently toured the border in search of immigrants to harass. A federal court forced him to stop, but while he said he would comply, he did not, earning a Contempt Of Court charge. He received a pardon from President Trump – I’m telling you this as a fact, but it also reads as sick punchline. Arpaio, naturally, has never shown remorse for the men he demeaned and debased over his actual criminal past (investigations of which he chalks up to a conspiracy). “The Human Centipede Part III”, with its echoes of Joe Arpaio, is a horror movie, but it’s also a cautionary tale. Anyone in power has seen Arpaio be rewarded with his inhumanity towards the vulnerable. It started in prisons, and it never stopped. And he still hasn’t stopped, while we make horror movies about it.