Paddington

And The Evil In Captivity

Paddington is my dude!

I was unfamiliar with the literary character when the first movie was released. But as I sat in my prison bunk, I read his words the way Marvel fans repeat Uncle Ben’s famous mantra and I nodded: “If we are kind and polite, the world will be right.” Oh Paddington, won’t you be my cellmate? It’s a good way to live life, it’s something that feels just. Kindness, what a concept! It hurts me not only that I believe this, but that I am the geezer who says such things, but this I believe: kindness meant something when I was arrested, and I feel as if I came out to a world where it had considerably less cultural currency.

I wished I could be getting out to a Paddington world, but it doesn’t appear to be so. “Paddington” generated $76 million in America, which is a fraction of the $245 million that “Transformers: Age Of Extinction” grossed, a movie I saw many times on basic cable, and one of the ugliest mainstream movies in recent memory (at least since the “Transformers” movies released prior). That’s still pretty formidable, and indeed the movie was much bigger overseas, so it’s not as if we’re talking about something people don’t want. But I can’t help but think how much brighter and sunnier the country would be if those grosses were reversed (especially considering the “Transformers” movies are preposterously expensive).

In case you are not familiar with Paddington (do you need a hug?), the bear travels from Peru to England, whereupon he is adopted by the Browns. They welcome him kindly, with open arms and his new name, given that the old one can only be understood in bear language. Hugh Bonneville is the patriarch, but the matriarch is the delightful Sally Hawkins. Sally Hawkins is if a smile could grow legs, and her kindly sweetness is one of the movie’s strongest elements. I cannot imagine the upcoming “Paddington In Peru” without her, though it appears they replaced her with Emily Mortimer. Bless Ms. Mortimer, whom I really enjoy, but this is a considerable downgrade.

The bear himself is voiced by Ben Whishaw, who I like as a human performer, but love as a bear. I understand this was originally Colin Firth’s part, and I apologize for if I aggravate the internet, but I loathe Firth. I find him brusque and unlikable, he is as bland as if toast was missing butter. Whishaw is less proper, more boyish, more likable. I feel as if Firth’s rendition would have come across as too stern and dry. Whishaw isn’t a comedian. But Colin Firth doing broad comedy is on a long list of Things I Will Never Care About. Whishaw sells Paddington’s feeling of being overwhelmed, his sense of whimsy, his endless curiousness. Firth would probably give Paddington a slight whiff of that English condescension. Whishaw was the right choice, guys.

Speaking of English condescension, Millicent Clyde, booooo! Nicole Kidman, in full Evil Ice Queen mode, plays Clyde the taxidermist who won’t stop in her desire to own Paddington for her museum, but also because she clearly wants to own a tiny chatty bear. I guess I can relate to that last one, less so with the taxidermy. She teams with a local neighbor, Mr. Curry, played by another brusque British leading man, Peter Capaldi. This isn’t the scaborous, flesh-eating Capaldi of “In The Loop”, maybe the funniest movie of the 21st century, but instead a dopey, xenophobic Male Karen (a Maren?) who falls for Clyde. This is meant to be a sweet turn for him, though he also tries to sell Paddington out, and from the knife-shaped Capaldi, I believe this.

This is not meant to be complex – ultimately, Paddington is looking for a home. His stay with the Browns is temporary, because really, how can anyone care for a sweet bear for too long? This is just the latest of hundreds of kids’ films to emphasize that we are born in one place, but it is up to us to make our home. It would be intellectually dishonest to suddenly claim this wasn’t a fresh narrative, and it is ultimately about the execution. Director Paul King, who comes from the BBC comedy world (“The Mighty Boosh” notably), manages to enliven this trip with charming and sprightly slapstick. Most 21st century childrens’ films seem like they’re being pressured to highlight special effects and pratfalls every five minutes in order to ensure a young audience is watching. Have you seen the “Harry Potter” films recently? They lean on a distracting, obnoxious and unnecessary CGI effect at a clip of every three or four minutes. “Paddington”, admirably, respects the attention span of the audience, while also reminding the audience of how much kindness there can exist within the world.

I needed, and still need, more movies like this. There were days in prison where I would look around, listen to people, observe the surroundings, and feel like my heart was falling down an elevator shaft. There’s no point placing the blame for such despair when it is consuming you like a shadow over nightfall. Men defeated by the sadness of their surroundings. Men who wished to destroy. Guards who smiled at the continued deterioration of a prisoner. Every day that you woke up was the new worst day of your life.

I still recall being in the SHU for weeks with one man who chills my bones when I remember him. He had years left on his sentence, but he wished to get out and quickly make fast money for himself and his family. He was someone debased and forgotten by society. He had a drug charge, and had been incarcerated before, enough that his body was deteriorating. I’ll never forget the day he faced me, excitedly informing me of his new plan. As his eyes grew darker, darker, he gleefully spoke of his plan to park his van outside a rehab center, making a pitch to those exiting the facility to partake in what he had to offer. He smiled, revealing bright red naked gums. If I was in Hell, he was my custodian. This face will forever haunt my nightmares.

Next week, we’ve got five days of Comedy Ensembles!